I'm not a good one for goodbyes. You only need to look at my house to see all the things that I horde because I simply can't part with anything. Everything I do and have has an emotional significance or attachment to it so I do my best to avoid saying goodbye.
So today, that awkward discomfort is sitting on my chest and I have a heavy heart. Sure, I have fabulous new horizons and challenges ahead of me and THAT is very exciting, no doubt about that. But for today, I feel like I'm losing a very precious friend. Like someone I love is going overseas for a long time? You know that feeling when you know it isn't goodbye forever but I don't know when I'll see you next?? That feeling.
I have loved working for this organisation. It has been the BEST job I've ever had (so far) so leaving it has been a huge decision to make, for me. It would be so easy to stay, safe in my comfort zone, but that isn't what life is about, is it? It isn't about retreating into your cave, safe in the knowledge that there is a big world out there but you're in here.....safe.
I'm at that age and stage in my life where what I do for a living has to be meaningful. It can't be about the $$$ or about the safety net or the comfort. I have felt like a genie locked in a bottle and it's time to release this genie. When my children were younger, my priority was to educate them and give them a safe and stable home-life and I have done that and I feel VERY proud of myself that, with some help from my beautiful husband, Grant - I have provided all that for my children.
But they're adults now and have lives of their own. Doesn't mean that I'm not a part of it but now, my priorities turn to me and doing what makes me happy. I have meaningful relationships that I have cultivated and nurtured in other areas of my life and now it's time to create something BIG and BRIGHT and COLOURFUL with my professional life! Something that reflects who I am at my core and not someone who I have to be or am trying to be. Something that fits better with my personality and that has all the possibilities of taking my natural skillset and launching it to the big, bright, beautiful world out there!!!
But saying goodbye is, right now, shadowing all that excitement and joy I feel for newer opportunities and prospects because I have LOVED working for this place. In its own way, that's a good feeling to have because it means that this job has held a lot of value and meaning to me.
