Today my sister's Facebook status read "I just hid behind the door to scare a co-worker... ' cept it was a patient who walked out...." and I haven't stopped laughing at this since I read it. Which reminds me why I am grateful for alll the funny things that have happened not only to me but my family, my friends, in fact just about everybody I know. Now I don't know if they're actually funny occurrences (one 'r' or two??) or whether I find them funny but either way, they make me laugh and that's what's important.
DISCLAIMER: There is EVERY possibility that you have been the victim of my laughter and in no way would I have intentionally wanted to hurt you because you did something so stupid that it made me laugh long after the incident happened.
My family has a habit of attracting 'stuff'....situations that always happen to us that are very very funny. I haven't pondered whether, if these things happened to other people, they'd be just as funny or whether my family, being the quintessential Addams family of slapstick dysfunctionality, make it funny.
You've read the blog about Happy Birthday Julie. That's nothing. Let me give you some examples:
THIS WEEK: The Exploding Thermos:
I was being very (re)creative and made potato and cauliflower soup after tasting it at the Gown of the Year Awards night in Melbourne. After having tried my culinary skills and impressing myself, I thought I'd take some to share with my friends from work. I filled my trusty thermos right to the top with my deliciously hot yummy scrummy soup. At around lunchtime, I thought to myself "Shaz, whack the thermos out on the desk to remind you to serve it up for lunch"....and so I positioned said thermos on my boss's desk, trying to earn some brownie points. He was out seeing clients and would return to some hot home-made soup and that would take care of my bonus for this year. Up here for thinking....
I started to hear a squeaky high-pitched noise eminating from my thermos and didn't think of it. Should I say right now it was around the time of the Bali bombing and people were nervous being in and around banks. I decided to ring my boyfriend (now my husband) and was chatting away to Gee when suddenly there was this massively loud explosion. I swung my swivel chair around long enough to see a huge mass of my soup being propelled into the air, lose momentum and then plummet back to the ground, hitting it with an almighty thwuck!
In what was a slo-mo action shot, soup was flung up all the walls, all over the furniture, the computers, my bosses gorgeously upholstered chair, in between the keyboards. My eyes just bulged and I sat there, amidst an horrific Exorcist-like display of potato and cauliflower soup artistically flung like a Pro Hart canvas all over our very swish offices.
It was a thick soup - not a watery soup - so it stuck to every surface like glue. I don't like referring to my soup in glue-ish terms but there you have it.
I immediately rang my boss and urged him not to come back to the office. He knew better than to ask why and so he didn't. BUT.....the Executive Director was still in and he HEARD the explosion and came running.
Picture sheepish Shaz, still sitting, hands tucked between my knees, looking up at the roof which now had a hole in it from the lid of the thermos, looking left at the artwork on the walls that were now displaying large chunks of pureed cauliflower and then, quietly to the right, where soup was still steaming off the wall (and I was biting my lip right about now a la Norman Wisdom style).
The short end of it is that the professional cleaners were called in to undo my artwork and they recommended that the industrial boys be hired for THIS job. $3,000 it cost to clean up my mess....... and the only thing I could say to the Head Honcho was that he should have been relieved that I didn't make curry for everyone.
I shan't regale you with the special version of how the soup actually got into the airvents in the ceiling and, as it had fresh parmesan cheese in it, went right through the heating in the building. In an attempt to neutralise the stench of warming parmesan that was permeating through to the seconf dloor, I raced out to get some NilOdor, stood on the deska nd liberally splashed it int the vents. Needless to say that the building stuck like a male toilet trough lolly for days and days and that became my nickname thereafter. I shan't mention that at all.
I DID win the Tool of the Week Award - a very prestigious award for the halfwits that work for a large national bank and I would have carried it forward another week had it not have been for Lucky Greg who thought that warming a BBQ chicken, still wrapped in foil, in the microwave was a great idea and set the microwave on fire which set the sprinklers off and we all had to be evacuated.
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