DAY 10: My Hair Straightener

God rocks the GHD!! Like having children, I simply cannot recall what I did prior to this miraculous ceramic invention. Whoever invented it should receive the Nobel Peace of Mind Prize. As you know I got my haircut on Saturday and don't we all know and enjoy the post-hairdresser hair pleasure.....swish, swish?

Well......I took the plunge today. I washed my hair. Yup. Washed it....at first it was really strange because there just wasn't enough of it (my hair, that is) in the shower with me. You know that odd feeling when you go to wash hair that USED to be there? That abrupt stop? Where did my hair go? That awkward moment when you realise, you dopey git, that you had it cut??? Yup, that was what replaced my long hair with me in the shower.

So, fast forward post-shower and imagine me having a fight with the GHD and what is now EXCEPTIONALLY short and curly hair. Remind you of something? Yeah, try straightening THEM and you'll have a much more accurate idea of what I was up for. Lucky those yoga and pilates classes came in handy for something. Much like the Physics class I did in Year 10, I was starting to wonder what the practical application of said classes were but, ahah!

The lightbulb moment appeared as I had my left hand wrapped around my brush, under my left ear torturously twisted like a pretzel around the pink cord of the GHD and my right hand across my face with my eyes trying desperately to peek over said hand (I don't think they know they're attached to the same body. Have you EVER watched those Attenborough videos of monkeys biting their own tails and then running, stopping, biting their own tails and then running? You get the gist). As the right hand got higher, the eyebrows raised themselves even higher in a formulaic kind of ratio (eyebrows being one of the more helpful items on anyone's body, I think mine were trying to help my squinty and rapidly watering eyes see over my indignant right hand who was prepared to up the stakes just to win THIS battle) until I was standing on my tippy toes.

BUT I got there.... It took a little adapting to remember to stop straightening when the hair ran out as my right hand (I think it's adopted) still held onto the memory of my long-flowing hair and continued to caress it's pre-existence in the hope that, if it clicked its red heels and repeated to itself "There's no hair like long hair", my old hair would return. If it wasn't for needing it to write with and to insert earrings in, I swear I'd get rid of it.

God Bless my GHD for transforming the lead character from the Hair Bear Bunch to Shazzah......*throwing fresh flower petals at the GHD shrine*...